6 Things You Want in a Man that you Shouldn’t Even Have to Ask for

In the few relationships I’ve had in my life, I felt like I was always the captain.

And as the captain, I was forced to choose the things we would do and the places we would visit. I planned. I delegated. And I initiated most things.

I planned our dates. I booked tickets for our vacations. I brought up unresolved issues. And I did the grocery. I basically did everything. And it sometimes hurt me to think that my boyfriend never made an effort to help out.

I’ve learnt now that I don’t wish to be the only captain. I’d much rather share the wheel with someone.

I hope to find someone new- someone who has the will and courage to take charge, to travel, to voice his own opinions and to have his own set of aspirations and goals in life.

I want a guy who can hold things down, a lover who can help in keeping me grounded and can continue growing right next to me, a partner who can be my team mate first and then my one true soul mate, and a man who knows how to be both a gentleman and a freak.

And here’s how a man can do all of this:

1. He should be able to make plans.

It feels very disappointing when a guy asks us repeatedly about the plans without offering any ideas of his own.

Guys, we are not your assistants in life. We shouldn’t always be expected to craft dates or trips. It can be quite draining to research on the perfect vacation or craft out prospective plans.

A relationship is supposed to be a mix of give and take. So it would be nice if you could take the reins at times.

Guys, start with giving a little. Plan out something, anything at all! That one “Get ready, we’re going out tonight” text is bound to light up any girl’s face, even if you do end up taking her to the nearest Burger King joint. 

2. He should be teaching YOU something in bed.

A woman shouldn’t have to be the only person in the relationship who introduces new tricks and positions. We like getting sexual pleasure just as much as men do.

Give us those sweaty and exciting sex stories that can make us smirk even in the times when we’re buried with work. Stop doing your one set routine in the bedroom. Think of something other than the predictable missionary position. Surprise us with sex in the kitchen, in the car, anywhere you can think of…

3. He should act protective.

Now I’m not saying he should turn into a complete psychopath, and start monitoring every move you make. But one thing that’s absolutely necessary is that he should always have your back.

If you’re feeling sick, he should be making you soup- just like you do every time. He should be able to make you feel protected and secure in knowing that he is always going to look out and stand up for you in every situation.


To everyone else around you, he might seem like a personal bodyguard. But to you, he’s just a fierce-looking teddy bear.

4. He should just come right out and tell you when you’re pissing him off.

A coward will always withhold his true feelings. Men who don’t have balls will never be verbal. They won’t communicate well. And they will keep all their emotions and feelings bottled up until they eventually drown in them. This will end up destroying a relationship.

A real man knows how to speak out about exactly what he’s feeling in an attempt to acknowledge, resolve and prevent any problems that exist in the relationship. He will remain humble enough to swallow his pride but bold enough to voice his concerns. 

5. He should be courageous.

You both should be able to keep up with each other in every way possible.

If you’re the girl who likes to snorkel in a sea full of sharks or dive off an airplane, make sure you pick a guy who will be there to hold your hand.

And if he ever asks you to be his gym partner, just give it a try. Take out those old sweats.

If you remain supportive of your partner’s lifestyle, you will watch that support get reciprocated.



A courageous guy will never shy away from your passion and love for adventure (or even from your love itself). He will always be as down for you as you have always been for him.

6. He should be focused and driven.

It’s not just necessary for your boyfriend to support and encourage all your career goals and prospects. It’s also necessary for him to have a set of his own.

Nothing can be more attractive than an intelligent and ambitious person. A perpetual desire for success and self-improvement is a requirement. A Queen will always want a King, and it’s just not possible to place a crown on an airhead!