Sunday, 22 June 2014

Too Funny!!! HOW TO SPOT AND BE A BIG LAGOS GIRL (Must Read)

 
No doubt, Nigeria is one of the most popular countries in Africa with Lagos state being the Center of excellence, residence for Nollywood and very many celebrities, socialites not to forget the groupies, side kicks, hustlers, video-vixens etc :)
Just like people go in search of their dreams and talents in New york, people come to Lagos to make it! anyhow possible; talent or no talent. Its not like they are available jobs to sink the inflow of people coming to Lagos or like most of the Lagos immigrants are talented or qualified enough for white collar jobs. In Lagos state you can create your own white collar job out of anything.
Its only Lagos you will see a lady dressed from head-to-toe cooperate and she goes 'oh i'm a personal shopper, i help the A-listers shop and organize their closet) -in a combination of British and American accent. lol.
Anyway if you are planning on making it in Lagos, let me give you some tips girls on how to fit in. For the guys read this tips, cram them well so when next you see a girl in Lagos like this run for your dear life hahaahaha
 1. LOOKS: You cant be striving to be a Lagos big girl and look tacky and all that. you must dress well...wear designers only. Louis Vuitton, Prada, Vivienne Westwood, christian louboutin, mango should be the cheapest.
They are not many dark girls left in Lagos, charcoal black is an abomination. Only fair, fresh girls. If you are black better visit all those 'iya's' that help tone your skin. In no time you will be as white as snow. :) or if you don't want to compete with snow white just be chocolate fair (a new color i heard).
Your extensions should not be short. short hair is so last two years in Lagos from 20inch till the longest they make. virgin hair or probably all those new names they have Mongolian, Cambodian bleached with closure. The only time you are caught with short hair, it should be 'funmi hair'. (wink wink).
2. GADGETS: Very important, you cant have one phone. You must have at least 2 or 3, preferably 3. One blackberry porsche, Q-10 or Z-10 for pinging, Lagos girls are never idle they always ping. One i-phone 5 for instagram and one Galaxy note as back up phone or Sony Xperia-Z.
3. MAKE UP: Make up, cannot be under emphasized in Lagos because that is the major trade-mark. Bright colored lips like pink and red or orange should be used only. So when you take your instagram pictures and pout (duck face) of course it will show. Don't forget to arch your brows, if you are not that perfect get a 'nike sign' turn it upside down and practice.
4. HOUSE: Also where you reside is of utmost importance mainland (hmm dat one nor join) except you have a bad-ass car and mansion. Lagos Island is the place, even if its a studio apartment as far as you and your clothes can sleep every night no problem. Also, because they are pricy you can beg like 4 or 5 of your friends to split the cost of the house with you.
5. ACCESSORIES: Lagos girls like their 'candies' 'eyecandy', 'arm candy' just buy plenty hand, and toe rings and wear all at once. buy statement jewelries or better still big gold chain and wear on your neck always, like 2. Then of course own a Michael kors watch, this is a must have its about $250 dollars, dont go for a fake because most people have their receipt in their bags. And if you are planning on lieing that you forgot yours when asked, it has a serial number under. (LOL)
6. JOB; You cant be in Lagos and not have a job, so go get one. If you are really pretty, tall and hot. Buy MBGN or MISS NIGERIA form and apply. If that doesn't work, go into modelling or better still become a video-vixen. Or you can save up and be your own boss, go into make-up or own a boutique and join the other 1million girls in Lagos. Free-lance! you don't need a studio oh, thats for the real professionals, from you studio apartment do your own.  Or better still go and learn how to sew clothes, so you can open your own line of 'HAWT COUTURE' works for everyone. Or, if you have a very polished fake accent from watching Tv (like me) go and be a tv or radio presenter. Ultimatelly the jackpot is Nollywood go and start acting, rapping or singing.
D'ont forget to go for all the shows, red carpet events and make sure you get featured, here on bella naija or any top blogs in the country. Better still buy complete fashion magazine or Thisday magazine every Sunday and check.
So i know you all know i'm not lying, this a the qualities of the 'barbies in Lagos'.  
Hate it or love it leave your comments below???s



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